Shitting yourself…

If there’s one promise I’ve made to myself recently, it’s to do more ‘stuff’. Doing more on my days off, seeing different places and doing things that scare me a little.

If you read one of my recent posts, you would have seen that I spent a couple of days in London. Read that here if you like! I went to apply for a Visa as I will be travelling to Vietnam early in the New Year which is a different story that I’m currently shitting myself about. But if you continue to read you’ll see that shitting yourself is okay. Ish…

London to some people may not be that scary, which is cool. Great even. But it’s not something that’s the norm for me. If I venture somewhere on my own, the furthest I’d go would be to Liverpool or Leeds only to be met by my sister. So travelling from Southport to London completely on my tod was a big deal, especially when I’m quite the anxious traveller. But I’m working on it.

How did it go you say? It was tough. It was tough not knowing anyone around me, and having so many people go about their daily business, and then me sticking out like a sore thumb, trying to figure out which tube station to hop on and hop off at. I got lost, I tried to check into the wrong hotel, but I had a lovely man that told me Jesus loved me. Not all that bad hey! But in all seriousness, this trip tested me in so many different ways, which may sound really over the top or whatever but I’m happy it did.

It scared the shit out of me. I had a constant sickness feeling in my stomach because of where I was and who would try and speak to me. I was paranoid I was walking too slow and slowing people down. I was scared I would get so lost I wouldn’t find my way back. But aside from all that, I was able to find the courage to go and watch a show on my own, and cry along with the strangers next to me. I was able to eat my lunch and drink some of the best coffee’s I’ve tasted from lovely little independent cafes. I was able to do something I don’t usually do. I had me time. And that’s what matters the most.

From this tiny little trip I’ve learnt so much. That yes, it’s okay to worry your socks off and panic a little. But to continue and be strong, and embrace the moment you’re in so you can cherish it later and look back and think, I did that. Go me!

So I guess I should find the point to this post. If you’re desperate to do something that isn’t what you normally do because it scares you, you should do it even more. It’s okay to feel like you’re loosing control of a situation because as quick as that can happen, it can easily become back into your control. Grab those experiences by the horns and live. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to curl up in a ball every time I think about travelling to Vietnam by myself, but at least I can look back at this little trip and think, well I travelled to London on my own? Yes, it’s not the same distance, but it was pretty major. Why is this any different? I can do this and I will do this.

2 thoughts on “Shitting yourself…

  1. Good for you! You will get used to relying solely on yourself and learn to love traveling independently even more. 🙂 Have a wonderful time in Vietnam!!

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